


Between Light And Dark

by afteriwake



Series: 2016 Christmas Gift Fics [5]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Clara POV, Clara's Life With The Doctor, Gen, Inspired By Tumblr, Inspired by a quote, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 14:14:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8755735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: Clara thinks about how a quote has really influenced her life ever since she met the Doctor.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chitarra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chitarra/gifts).



> This is a belated birthday/early Christmas gift for my dear friend **Chitarra** , who had asked for gen and friendship fic for Christmas. I was inspired by the quote used in the story, " _She hated the darkness until she discovered she was a star,_ " which was attributed to **savvystrachan** at Tumblr at the Tumblr blog where I found it. Happy birthday, hun! Sorry this is so short, but I hope you enjoy it!

_She hated the darkness until she discovered she was a star._

Clara had seen the quote before on some website Artie and Angie frequented, and it had stuck with her. She never quite knew why, but it had always seemed to be rather poignant even though it was rather simple. She, herself, never seemed to hate the dark. She loved it, in its own way, the peaceful nights when she could gaze u at the stars from her attic room and wonder what it might be like to be among them, to move among the vastness of space.

And then, of course, she met the Doctor and she _did_ get to travel among the stars, to travel through time, to visit different planets and to meet all sorts of extraordinary people and aliens she never could have imagined she’d meet, to get to have adventures that would fill up the pages of her books about travels with words no one would believe.

And then she began to understood she hated the dark.

Not so much the darkness of space; she still loved that, the soft and still moments when she sat at the edge of the TARDIS’s door and stared out at the stars up close and personal, sipping her tea and knowing there were few others lucky enough to have ever had this privilege. No, she discovered she hated the darkness in her fellow man, the darkness in the conquering races she met, the darkness in the creatures and the aliens they dealt with and had to defeat to save the lives of others.

It changed her, it did. It began to harden her, maybe even warp her a bit. She didn’t see it at first, didn’t quite notice, because the changes were microscopic, but they were there. And then when one Doctor became another, and Danny became mixed up in all of it, and _she_ became the Doctor for one brief moment, then it all came through in an instant.

She had hardened, she had built a tough shell around herself. She had let the darkness of others affect her and infiltrate her, in its own insidious way. Not in a way she liked, either. She didn’t like this person she’d become really. She needed to change it.

But of course, the plans one makes never always come to fruition the way one hopes. They all came crashing down with Danny’s death. The things she never got to say, the plans she never got to make, all gone in an instant. And she tried to be hard, tried to tap into the darkness, to throw away the keys to the TARDIS, but she was so horrified at it, so ashamed, and the Doctor, he still cared. He was still willing to help. And Danny...he broke brainwashing because he loved her. Even though he didn’t come back to her, she knew he loved her.

She wasn’t so consumed by darkness after all.

And so her adventures continued, her travels continued, with a new lightness in her heart. She felt at ease, she felt freer than she had before. Things were not always the best of times; they never were with the Doctor, that was always the truth. But she no longer felt strangled in a web of darkness and she felt freer for that. She was a better person for that.

All the way to her death.

And then, trapped in a frozen moment, she remembered that quote. _She hated the darkness until she discovered she was a star._ She traveled freely among the stars now with Me at her side, like a shooting star among the heavens, a light in the darkness. The darkness couldn’t touch her in this frozen moment, and she could bring light to so many, she hoped. She would continue to fight the darkness in herself, and maybe, in the tradition of the Doctor she so held dear, keep the darkness at bay for others as well.


End file.
